PLEASING PEOPLE

Pleasing people
By Belspearl

This is a topic that people don’t talk about enough. Many people are born people pleasers. I identify as a “recovering” people pleaser. I have come such a long way and I want to share what I have learned to bring hope and restoration to others. I didn’t realize that I was a people pleaser until in my adult years. After my childhood, after college, and even after I started working at my first job. I was living a life that revolved around keeping the people around me happy. I wish I could say that I could blame it on the people around me. But, I cannot. It is a heart issue. Something that only God can repair.

I had this fear that as soon as those close to me discovered the real me they would no longer want me. I was looking at life through a conditional lens. If I was to accomplish tasks, make people smile, and keep them happy then I would have their attention, affection, and respect. That is the scariest part about pleasing people. Everyone stated that I was a kind, sweet, and friendly person. No one realized that I was on a steady downward dangerous spiral.

I had been working a stable job for 2 years. I lived in a large house with roommates. I was dating guys. Hanging out with friends. But, one day I realized that no one around me was happy. The more I would try the more it didn’t work. The harder I would have to work. I was judgemental, frustrated, and then all of a sudden I became depressed. I couldn’t get out of bed. I couldn’t smile. I had given up. My life was a waste and I had let everyone down. I was not okay. I was the complete opposite of what everyone thought I was. No one could understand or help me.

I went to counseling. It helped me change my perspective. When I started looking into it; God has a lot to say about it. “The fear of the Lord leads to life; then one rests content, untouched by trouble.” Proverbs 19:23. This verse is amazing! I was afraid of what people thought of me. I didn’t want people to know the real me. Then, they wouldn’t want me. Instead, my fear needed to be pointed toward Christ. He is the only opinion that should matter. His perspective is the only one that reveals my identity. I needed to view him with a holy fear. However, the power in this verse is what follows. UNTOUCHED BY TROUBLE. The stress of making people happy is gone. Words of people no longer hold meaning. Darts that Satan throws don’t stick. When God is the one you are pleasing you find true peace. Peace that passes beyond understanding (Phil 4:7).

The more time you spend with God the more he will change your identity. I am happy now because I fear the Lord. I follow the plans he has for me. I ask him to show me how to love. When to love. What people decide to do with what I have done is up to them. I am held accountable to the God who holds my heart. Praying blessings over you. That you find the freedom God wants you to have.

Thank you. Have a God glorifying day.